A lot of times on social media, or, I guess, in life, people only show you the best version of themselves. I’m not above it. For the most part, I only post things to my accounts that are pretty, delicious, or fun. From what I post, you probably think I have zero mishaps in the kitchen and everything turns out perfectly on the first try.

Well, that’s wrong. The story behind this cake is a long one. It started yesterday morning when I decided to make a strawberry rye buckle, which is basically like a humble coffee cake. I chopped up two pounds of strawberries, lined a cake pan, made the batter, and poured it in the pan. I thought, hmmm, I think I overfilled this pan, but I told myself I didn’t. I really wanted to believe I didn’t.

As it turns out, I did. I kept watching the cake to see if it would overflow into the bottom of the oven, which has happened to me once and is *slightly* traumatic. Thankfully, that didn’t happen. But what did happen was, I sat there for two hours waiting for the middle to set. It was like nails on a chalkboard. I’m already a pretty impatient person, and this felt like something close to torture.

I asked my good friend ChatGPT what to do. It said to turn down the oven temperature a bit and tent the cake with foil. I thought both of those sounded dumb, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

To my surprise, both tips worked. After two painstaking hours, a lower temp and a tent foil helped the middle of my cake set but just barely. I took it out of the oven, and it wasn’t charcoal or even close. The sides smelled a little burned, but overall, it could have been a lot worse. Still, it was so far away from the cake I wanted, I felt demoralized.

I debated what to do. I thought maybe I’d convert it, cut off the bad parts, and glaze or ice it, and pass it off like it was supposed to be that way. Then I thought about giving it to a friend who would eat almost anything. Finally, I opened my trash can and threw it in. I went on a two hour walk to regroup. Yeah, it wasn’t the end of the world, but imagine thinking you would create something beautiful, and then realizing what you made was trash-worthy? It’s not a great feeling.

Luckily, my long walk around the neighborhood calmed me down. I had the presence of mind to set out a stick of butter before I left, because I knew even then I would try again. I decided to use a different recipe and the same size cake pan. I would only fill it 2/3 of the way full. I felt calmer, maybe because I committed to a rebake, or maybe because I knew that no matter what, at least I tried again.

I was rewarded with a golden cake with juicy strawberries that made my whole apartment smell like a strawberry shortcake. I watched it while it baked, so I knew it would turn out okay. I didn’t feel relieved, but I did feel proud of myself for trying again, even when I was in the depths of despair.

I told my friend about it and he said, why didn’t you give me the old cake? Then he said, you’re really a perfectionist, aren’t you? It made me think of a time in grad school when I had flour tortillas and shredded cheese, but I wanted to put more in my quesadilla. I walked a few blocks in the snow to the grocery store and back so I could make exactly the kind of quesadilla I wanted.

“Wow,” my friend said at the time. “You don’t do things half-assed, do you?”

I guess not. I just wouldn’t want to feed myself, or anyone else, something that was slightly inedible. Plus, if I know it can be better, I will make it better. Call me crazy or a perfectionist, but that’s just the way I operate.

Here’s a song to get you started on your strawberry cake journey. Somewhat ironically, it was playing while I accidentally destroyed the first cake. I like the lyric, “When I was driving in Missouri/someone told me a ghost story.”

Strawberry Cake

Ingredients

290 grams all-purpose flour
8 grams baking powder
pinch of Kosher salt
115 grams unsalted butter, room temperature
70 grams granulated sugar
75 grams dark brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 large eggs, room temperature
180 grams buttermilk
295 grams strawberries, hulled and cut into rounds
powdered sugar, for dusting

Directions

Spray a 9-inch cake pan and line the bottom and sides with parchment paper. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Whisk the flour, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the butter, sugars, and vanilla extract on medium high until light and fluffy, about five minutes. Scrape down the bottom of the sides and beat in the eggs one at a time. Scrape down everything again, make sure it’s well mixed, then mix in half the flour mixture followed by half the buttermilk. Repeat until you’ve added all the flour and buttermilk.

Use a spatula to gently fold in half the strawberries. Scoop the batter into the prepared pan and spread the top so it’s even. Add the rest of the strawberries and gently press them into the surface.

Bake the cake for about 50 minutes, or until the top springs back to the touch and is golden brown. Let it cool completely in the pan before removed, dusting with powdered sugar, and serving. Enjoy!