I was having coffee with my friend Katie earlier this week, and we were talking about things she likes to make with her daughters. She mentioned oatmeal, and I said that my ex still talks about how I taught him how to make oatmeal the right way. She laughed, but it’s true; My instructions to him have outlasted our relationship, which I guess is flattering, in a way.

I described to her how I go about it, and she started taking notes on her phone. I wanted to give her exact measurements, but honestly, my method is like a grandma who has made the same cake a billion times and tells you things like, “I put a handful of flour,” or, “I stir it until it feels right.” When you cook something that becomes ingrained in you, it’s like second nature…Unless you’re really tired and you forget the maple syrup, or you go crazy and add too much salt by accident.

In any case, I’m going to give you my foolproof oatmeal recipe below, getting as exact as I can, because I know cooking without instructions can be intimidating.

The two most important elements of making oatmeal are taking your time, and stirring. Yes; there is instant oatmeal, and we can rely on it in a pinch. But if you want oatmeal that is tender, creamy, and soft, you need to take your time. Also, the texture is a result of stirring the mixture over and over again. It tenderizes the oats, and it ensures that everything mixes well together.

You’ll know the oatmeal is done when you run the spoon along the bottom, and you feel the oatmeal starting to stick. I like mine to have a somewhat pourable consistency, so I can just tip it into the bowl. But if you want yours a bit thicker, you can leave it on the stove longer. I would check it more often, though; there’s nothing worse than burned oatmeal on the bottom of a pan.

Katie asked me if you can use vegan milk instead of dairy milk in the recipe. You definitely can; there was a time in my life when I only drank vegan milk, and I’ve made oatmeal a billion times with almond milk. However, the texture will be different, and you need to watch it more closely. Vegan milk functions more like water in a recipe than milk, so the cooking time might vary.

Here’s a song to get you started on your oatmeal journey. I’ve been listening to it all weekend. I think it’s my song of summer. I like the line, “dos uvas en mi bolsa y me siento bien,” which in Spanish means, “two grapes in my bag and I’m feeling good.” It’s all about appreciating the little things in life.

Foolproof Oatmeal (serves 1)

Ingredients

1/3 or 1/2 cup cup rolled oats (very important; do not use instant or quick cooking, or steel-cut)
1 1/4 cup 2% milk
2 Tbsp maple syrup
1 tsp ground cinnamon
pinch of flaky sea salt
berries, chia seeds, bananas, or other toppings as desired

Directions

Put the oats in a heavy bottomed ban and cover them with the milk. Add the maple syrup, ground cinnamon, and flaky sea salt. Bring the mixture to a boil, watching it carefully so it doesn’t boil over. Reduce the heat to a simmer, and simmer the mixture for about 5 minutes, stirring often.

You’ll know the oatmeal is done when you run a spoon across the bottom and realize it’s sticking. Stir it a time or two more, then pour it into a bowl. Top with your desired fruit or other toppings. Enjoy!